Lately my husband and I have been talking almost every night about our future. We are praying for guidance for what to do next. Neither of us have a clear understanding of where God wants is to be in 1 year, 2 years, 4 years...
I want so desperately to have my own classroom. I graduated last May, and didn't know exactly what type of teaching job I wanted. I suppose I still do not know entirely, but I have a great longing for a lower elementary classroom. Whether that is where God will put me or not I do not know.
I feel a bit like I would be abandoning my heart for children with disabilities if I had a general Ed classroom.
There have been so many things lately that have sparked my passion for special Ed. I realize how much it hurts when I see the word, "retard" plastered somewhere, or realize the building I am sitting in is not wheelchair accessible. I wish I could be the teacher when I sit in on the IEP meeting, I smile when I see a child in the grocery store who is feeling the various textures of the fruit. My heart aches when I see the tears of a mother who's child with autism's needs are not being met in school. It sickens me when I hear the excuses an administrator will make for her staff, who are not willing to try new methods of teaching for a student with sensory needs.
Thank you Lord for the passions you have put in my heart. Thank you for the gifts and abilities you have given me. Help me to continue to work on my patience and ability to communicate in various ways. I pray you will guide me into the position that you have created especially for me. Help me to be open and willing to follow your guidance.
Right after I read this, I read my morning devotional from the book Jesus Calling. I just felt maybe it applied to what you were feeling, so I thought I'd share.
ReplyDeleteIt started off saying: "Stop trying to work things out before their times have come". At first this statement seemed kind of harsh to me, but then it directed me to read from Ecclesiastes 3. There is a time for everything! Maybe now is the time for you to desire change and for God to prepare you for that. And then someday (soon? or maybe not!) God will tell you it is time for you to be that change in a classroom of your own or perhaps even in a different role. (I think of Dr. H who was involved with the State government and fighting for different Special Ed. rights!). Maybe this will shed some new light?!?
Either way the other verse for today was John 16:33 "In this world you will have trouble (all those Special Ed. issues and emotions and injustices!) but take heart! I have overcome the world."
Thanks for letting me share too!