We sang "How Great Thou Art" in church today. It reminded me of you. I know you believed those words, so deeply in your heart. And while I'm sure you are praising your king in heaven, I didn't know it was going to be so hard here without you.
It has been 8 years, 8 months, 10 days, and 4 hours since you took your last breath here on earth. I've graduated high school, and college. You would be proud of me, I graduated with a special Ed degree. :-) oh, and I met someone. His name is Bobby. You'd like him, he's really cute, and he makes me happy. We got married two summers ago, on July 3rd. No, we don't have any kids yet. But someday. I joined a show ski team!! You would love it! I'm learning all the stuff you used to do! Can't wait until our first show!
I look through pictures of you a lot. I keep thinking eight years is a long time. But then some song or something will remind me of you, and it will all come flooding back to me. It will seem like just yesterday- you were holding my hand, reading your Bible with me. We would each lunch from Forest Hills Foods while you got your chemo treatment. Then that awful day will creep into my memory. Your last breath, you left your body. And, it turned cold so quickly. We turned off your oxygen machine, and they took your body away from me.
I try not to think about it- but it's all so vivid. Once one memory is triggered then they all flood in. I keep your perfume on top of your jewelry box. I wear your necklace on days I want to look as beautiful as you. And on days I really miss you I open up your perfume so I can remember how you smelled.
But your voice. I miss your voice more than anything right now. And your hugs. I wish I could hold you and hear you talk to me again. I can see your smile in my mind, but I can't hear your voice.
I love you. And I miss you with every ounce of my being.
Your snuggle bug.