A Daughter's Cry:

I'm visiting your grave today, 

I didn't think it would feel this way. 

My heart pounds with all the pain, 

tears are streaming down like rain. 

August 4, 2004 oh can it be,

nine years since God took you away from me? 

Still  that day is crystal clear, 

when we stood in a circle here. 

I felt the tightness in my chest,

that moment is more vivid than the rest. 

Time was moving so very slow, 

as they lowered your coffin down below. 

We threw in stalks of wheat, 

to symbolize a physical defeat. 

But because of our Lord's grace, 

we will again meet face to face. 

I will not fear my final breath,

for Christ has defeated death! 

Dear Mom,

We sang "How Great Thou Art" in church today. It reminded me of you. I know you believed those words, so deeply in your heart. And while I'm sure you are praising your king in heaven, I didn't know it was going to be so hard here without you.

It has been 8 years, 8 months, 10 days, and 4 hours since you took your last breath here on earth. I've graduated high school, and college. You would be proud of me, I graduated with a special Ed degree. :-) oh, and I met someone. His name is Bobby. You'd like him, he's really cute, and he makes me happy. We got married two summers ago, on July 3rd. No, we don't have any kids yet. But someday. I joined a show ski team!! You would love it! I'm learning all the stuff you used to do! Can't wait until our first show!

I look through pictures of you a lot. I keep thinking eight years is a long time. But then some song or something will remind me of you, and it will all come flooding back to me. It will seem like just yesterday- you were holding my hand, reading your Bible with me. We would each lunch from Forest Hills Foods while you got your chemo treatment. Then that awful day will creep into my memory. Your last breath, you left your body. And, it turned cold so quickly. We turned off your oxygen machine, and they took your body away from me.
I try not to think about it- but it's all so vivid. Once one memory is triggered then they all flood in. I keep your perfume on top of your jewelry box. I wear your necklace on days I want to look as beautiful as you. And on days I really miss you I open up your perfume so I can remember how you smelled.

But your voice. I miss your voice more than anything right now. And your hugs. I wish I could hold you and hear you talk to me again. I can see your smile in my mind, but I can't hear your voice.

I love you. And I miss you with every ounce of my being.
Your snuggle bug.

100th Day of Kindergarten!!!

Today was the 100th day of kindergarten! And if you didn't know, or don't remember, it's a REALLY BIG DEAL!!! We make a really big deal of counting to 100 lots of times, and doing many activities involving the number 100.
We told the kids yesterday that we were going to be gone today for meetings, but we were going to have our 100 year old grandmas come in and sub for us! So we dressed up like we were 100 years old! Haha it was so fun.
I really got into character and acted like "granny Moore" for the whole morning. I moved slowly, did my best grandma voice, and asked lots of questions about the rules, etc etc. After a while I had students holding my hand to help me walk, picking things up for me, and bringing me chairs to sit down. :-) I told the kids I was very tired and that kindergarten was hard work. "Granny Moore needs to go home and take a nap."
During lunch I changed and took my makeup off, and returned as Mrs. Moore. As soon as I walked in some of them said, "Mrs. Moore! You missed it! Granny Moore was here!!! She's so nice!" I thought to myself; SUCCESS! They still believe! :-) it was very fun.
Of course we did a few great activities with 100. Including making a necklace with 100 Cheerios, a special "100 things" snack, and a visit from ZERO THE HERO!! It was a wonderful day. Another day I thank The Lord for my job!!

Everything New

It's a new year. And while many are fighting to keep their New Year's resolutions going, I sometimes feel like I am fighting just to keep my sanity!

With a small one bedroom apartment (and lots of junk) our home can get pretty messy very quickly. Many times I feel as though I am struggling just to keep my head above water with laundry, dishes and dust piling up. And I am not even a classroom teacher who has to take her work home with her yet.

I really do love taking care of my own home. I like when my home is clean, and laundry is put away, and dinner is on the table. I enjoy caring for myself and my husband in that way. But often times I wonder- (1) Is it ever enough? (2) Will it ever be completed? Seems like the second I finish one basket, a new pile of dirty clothes is ready to be washed.
But every so often I stay ahead of the game (for a few days). Today was one of those days. Just a great gift from God.

Bobby and I started the day with devotions and coffee, as we often do. I threw dinner in the cock pot and went off to school- our first day back since Christmas break- and it was a great day. I came home and actually got to spend time with my husband. We first went to the store for groceries (much easier when we go together). Then we came home to a yummy pot roast in the crock pot and watched a movie together. All in all, a very good day indeed.

Rev. 21:5 "Look, I am making everything new."

2012- A Year in Review: Top Ten

Wow. Another year draws to a close. Already?! Where did it go?

I think back over the year and there were some really great times, and some really hard times- as I am sure is true for you too.  So hear is a "TOP TEN" list of the most memorable and influential events of 2012.

1. My NY Resolution to Read through the Bible:
Last New Year I decided to try to read through the Bible in a year. Now that the year is over- did I finish? No. Was it still beneficial? Of course! According to my Bible app, I got 51% of the way through. I absolutely loved the challenge. I am sad, and a little ashamed to say I only got 51% finished. But I cannot tell you the number of times God fed me with exactly what I needed to hear! It is amazing the difference being in God's word can make in your life. My new New Year's resolution? FINISH reading through the Bible! Hey, I've already got a 1% lead on last year! haha.


2. Critter and Ian's Wedding:
In March my best friend got married to the love of her life! It was an awesome wedding. I am so overjoyed to see my best friend so happy. Now, my husband and her husband are best friends too. We spend so much time with these folks, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I look back on the past, and I never imagined that we would be where we are today. I am so thankful for God's work in her life.

3. Death of Granddaddy: 
In April Bobby's Granddaddy (Robert Raymond Moore I) passed away. We made a quick trip to North Carolina to be with Granny and the extended Moore family. I am amazed at how close the Moore family really is, even though they live throughout the country. My entire side of the family lives in west Michigan, so it was an adjustment for me to get used to not seeing Bobby's family all the time. Yet, every time we get together, it feels as though we never left. I am honnored to now be part of the wonderful family. We are all thankful for the many wonderful years Granddaddy had on this earth. His influence is seen throughout the Moore family, in the importance everyone puts on family.  We are rejoicing for him now, as he celebrates in his forever heavenly home.

3. Mission Trip to Indy
In June Bobby and  I went on a missions trip to Indianapolis with our church's youth group. The trip grew be as a person, and a youth leader. It renewed my passion to see children grow closer to their creator. "Look, I am making everything new." was the Bible verse. It was an amazing experience for Bobby and I, and all of the students and leaders!

5. First Wedding Anniversary 
In July Bobby and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary! I am so thankful for the man that Bobby is, and is becoming. The depths of love that I have already experienced in our marriage have already been more than I could ever imagine. Bobby truly loves me for ME. Who i am, even with my faults and insecurities. He is my support. We have been trying really hard to do devotions together in the mornings, and are growing so close in doing so. I am so thankful for a husband who can grow in their relationship with God alongside of me.

6. Sailboat at the lake
This summer my Dad bought a hobie cat. It has been a most wonderful addition to the lakehouse. We all have been learning to sail, even Abby Lou! We have had some great times together already... My favorite being the loooooong talks we have when there is no wind and we are stuck in the middle of the lake, and the time there was so much wind the mast cable broke and we had to get towed home by a jet ski!




7. Family Vacation / Granny's 90th Birthday:
In August Bobby's immediate Family and I got to take an amazing vacation to North Carolina Beach! On our way down we stopped in Big Stone Gap, Virginia for Granny's 90th Birthday party. We got to spend time with the extended Moore side of the family, and also had a more formal memorial service for Granddaddy. After a few days in Big Stone Gap we headed to NC! We rented a beach house right on the water for a whole week. Bobby and Coleman helped me become a pro body surfer, we enjoyed some Brit's Doughnuts, soaked up lots of rays, read some books, and we ended the week with huge crab boil!!

8. Eleanor Gracelyn Roer is Born!!

While Bobby and I were on vacation, my brother and Sister-in-law had their second child, Eleanor Gracelyn Roer! She was born on August 4th, a date that was already full of meaning in the Roer household. Now we not only remember this date as the day Mom passed away in 2004, but too, as the day Ellie Grace was born!

9. Job Change:
 During the 2001-2012 school year I worked as a Kindergarten Parapro at Dutton Christian School. It was a MWF kindergarten, and I only worked during part of the day. I loved it. I loved the community there and all of the staff and students. While on vacation I got a call from Knapp Charter Academy saying they would like to interview me for a full time Kindergarten Parapro position. When we got back i went to the interview and was offered a job. Although I loved Dutton, and did not want to leave. Knapp was offering me full time employment. (and was only 10 min from my house.) Financially, it made sense to accept.  Although i still long for my own classroom (someday) I am very much enjoying what I am doing now. I have made new friends, and get to influence a new set of students. I know that this is right where God wants me to bed right now. But I also hold on to the hope that He is using this to prepare me better for where he really wants me to be. :-)
10.Coleman:
In September my Father-in-law Coleman heard his doctor say, "You have cancer." The same three words that started my Mother's 4 year battle. I cannot describe to you the terrible brick that landed in my stomach when I heard this news. My mind was racing with fears and memories. My body was numbed at the thought of my husband having to loose a parent, as I had.  Coleman had gone into the hospital because of pain in his abdomen, and quickly had an appendicitis.  Routinely, they checked the removed organ for any abnormalities, and they found some strange cells inside that were a rare form of cancer. This particular type of cancer is very terminal if it gets into the abdominal cavity, and it usually travels there from the appendix, through the colon. So they approved Coleman for a surgery to remove 1/3 of his colon  and search the abdominal cavity while they were inside. In early October had had the surgery, and everything went miraculously well! They found no cancer in the abdomen, and the colon removal went smoothly. Coleman is doing very well now, and has almost fully recovered from his surgery.  Though this seems like a short period of time looking back, these we the darkest part of our year. I can honestly say, the love I felt for my husband, through the fears, was the deepest form of love I have ever felt. I (and everyone else) am so thankful that Coleman is now cancer free, and healthy. And, most of all, here to continue influencing those around him, and living out the life God has called him to.

Friend

"Friend" is such an interesting word.
You can introduce someone as your friend, you can ask a friend to be your bridesmaid, you can "friend" someone on Facebook. There are so many different types of friends.
There's the girl you label "friend" because you see each other every day at school, take all the same classes with, even play on the same basketball team. But then when you graduate high school, you never see, or talk to again.
There's the guy you call a friend, but you really kinda like him, and wish he were MORE than a friend.
There's the friend who you used to do everything with, but now you don't even want to be in the same room with. Because of that one thing she said- you can't get over. Is it your fault? Or hers?
There's that person you are "best friends" with when you want to go have a good time- but you would never actually just chill with.
There's that friend who you talk to at church on Sundays, but never see or communicate with outside of the church walls.
There's the best friend. The person you text the second you wake up, and right before you go to bed. You like all the same things, do everything together. The one you would tell anything to- and do anything for.

Then there are those people, that you really value, care for, and love. That you label friend- because no matter how many miles away you are, or how often you call or text. You know you would do anything for them. You've been through so much together, that the bond cannot be broken. By time. By distance. By silence. Nothing can change the fact that you are truly FRIENDS with that individual.

Today I got to see that friend. :-) and it was wonderful.

Did I mention I like tea?

Who am I kidding- I'm ADDICTED to tea!
I drink a whole travel mug of tea each morning, and usually one more at work. Once I get home I usually drink a cup or two to relax, and even sometimes another cup before bed!
Averaging 2-4 cups a day I might even earn the label "obsessed". I'm ok with that.
If you have heard of Teavana, you would understand why it s my favorite store! If you haven't, let me explain why. Teavana is a loose leaf tea store, that also sells tea pots and accessories. They use real pieces of fruit and other ingredients as so to create full bodied wonderful loose leaf teas. (We are not talking the dust that is put in a paper bag and sold by Lipton.) My best friend and cousin got me hooked three or four years ago when she gave me my first taste of "Raspberry Riot Lemon mate" tea. :-)
Since then the two of us have continued to drink and enjoy Teavana tea together. We have also talked many times about when we get our own houses, how many tea things we will have. We dreamed of the day when we would be able to buy cast iron teapots to keep our tea warm.

Today, Teavana had the biggest sale I have ever seen them have! Many of our favorite teas were 75% off! We were so excited to go and fill up on our favorites!!! For Christmas I received gift cards to Teavana from some of my friends and family. The gift cards were enough to cover the cost of the cast iron pot I have been drooling over for years! I was so giddy I couldn't sleep last night because I I knew we were going to the store today! Then on the way, I was driving over the speed limit to get there! When I got to the store I was even more surprised! Teavana cast iron teapots come in two sizes. Small and large. I had planned to buy a smaller teapot, which was $90, not on sale. But the larger size was 50% off, meaning it too was $90! So I got the larger size for the same amount I was going to pay for the smaller one!! I was sooo stoaked!!! I got my cast iron teapot and refilled all my teas! It was a great day!
My total savings today: $186.59!!! I love tea- and Teavana. And my new cast iron teapot.